you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize