Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
