Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
