i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
