I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
