There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
