just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
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My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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