4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
