Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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