First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I didn't notice because vodka
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
