I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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