everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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