If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
