i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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