I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize