I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
im six kinds of drunk right now
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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