I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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