Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
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Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
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Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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