He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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