just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
