Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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