i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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