I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
