Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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