He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
