Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
