he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
