I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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