If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
