we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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