My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
