Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize