I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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