When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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