i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
