My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
