I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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