I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
