One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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