the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize