what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i dont even know how to be here
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
