So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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