that's an acceptable place to lick
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
