If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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