I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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