I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
