If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
