i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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