Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
