Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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