I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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