i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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