so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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