oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
