You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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