Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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