White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
