Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
