That's intense
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
